Imagine walking into your kitchen, pulling out a martini glass and having your favorite drink in a couple of minutes, mixed perfectly. That’s what the Bartesian Cocktail Maker promises. But does it deliver on that promise? I’ve had my very own Bartesian for six months, so let’s take a look at whether an at-home cocktail maker will be the right accessory for your home.
Specs
Price: $329.
Dimensions: 12.5 inches wide x 12.75 inches deep x 13.25 inches high.
Weight: 18.26 pounds.
Care: Wash exterior with damp cloth. Reservoirs are dishwasher safe.
Pros
- Incredibly easy to use.
- Consistently delicious cocktails.
- Wide variety of drinks.
- Impresses guests.
Cons
- Can malfunction.
- Capsule cost adds up.
- Needs regular cleaning.
- Consumes considerable counter space.
Happy Hour At Home
I received my Bartesian as a review sample just before the holidays. That gave me plenty of time to play around with it before company arrived.
The unboxing and setup were fairly straightforward. One tip: before you buy it, have a place in mind. We have limited counter space, and one of the biggest reasons I’m thinking of moving it to storage is that we simply don’t use it often enough. If I’d been making the purchase, I would have chosen the Duet Cocktail Maker, which takes up considerably less space and works well if you typically use the same two spirits.
Bartesian Cocktail Making Machine
What Comes in the Box?
The original Bartesian comes in a branded box inside a shipping box, with everything inside well protected.
Inside the box, you’ll find the following:
- The main unit.
- Five glass liquid reservoirs.
- A quick-start guide.
Note: I was sent a starter set of capsules, but it doesn’t appear to typically include them. You’ll need to make that purchase when you buy the unit so you’ll have some on hand.
I pulled out the larger unit first and got it set up, then moved on to the accessories. You’ll have five canisters to slip inside the four holders on the unit. You’ll see holders for whiskey, vodka, tequila, gin, and rum. The gin and rum canisters share a holder, so if you drink those two liquors often, keep in mind that you’ll have to switch back and forth between drinks.
I was surprised to find that the Bartesian came with four of the reservoirs already in place. I was impressed by that until I tried to figure out how to get one of those reservoirs out of its chamber.
After consulting the quick-start guide, I figured out the key. Literally — it was a key. The unit is locked, with keys included. Simply insert the key, turn, and you’ve unlocked the chambers. Then you’ll need to tilt each reservoir away from the unit (it will start to feel like it’s going to break before it releases) and you’re ready to screw off the top and fill.
I assume the keys are a safety measure to keep younger household members from removing the reservoirs, but I’m not sure what would stop those same household members from grabbing a capsule and making a drink using the liquors already installed.
Setup: Plug, Fill and Pour
Once the machine was in place, it was time to add liquids. You don’t have to fill all four reservoirs: I only had rum, so three of my reservoirs were initially empty.
Before I could make my first drink, I had to fill the reservoir in the very back of the unit with water. Yes, the machine mixes the capsule, water and liquor to make your drink. From there, you’ll simply follow the instructions on the screen. You’ll grab your capsule, slide it into the slot and pull down the handle.
You’ll have four choices of spirit strengths:
- Mocktails.
- Light.
- Regular.
- Heavy.
Regular is the default and that’s what I use most of the time. I tried the mocktail setting and I’ll be honest, it tasted horrible. The capsules are clearly formulated as mixers, and the result is a watered-down mocktail that went right down the drain.
One thing I will say for the Bartesian — you won’t get a faster pour anywhere, even at your local bar. From the time you set the glass on the base, your drink is ready in about 30 seconds. That’s far faster than my Nespresso or the Keurig I used to have.
The Taste Test
Before I discuss the taste of the drinks, I need to stress that I have a serious sweet tooth. The only liquor I can take these days is rum — everything else is too overpowering. My coffee and my alcoholic beverages taste more like dessert. That said, I’ve tried a variety: We had some whiskey lovers in the house at Christmas, so I even gave those drinks a try.
So far, I’ve tried the following:
- Rum Breeze.
- Mai Tai.
- Rum Runner.
- Cosmopolitan.
- Peanut Butter Cup.
- Whiskey lovers variety pack.
- Low-calorie Whiskey Sour.
- Vodka lovers variety pack.
Let’s start with the bad. The Peanut Butter Cup was the absolute worst: Even if you don’t need things super-sweet, something was funky about it. No drink should ever taste like that.
But, everything else has been 100% delicious. I didn’t try the Old Fashioned and Sidecar that were in the whiskey lovers pack, but the Manhattan and Whiskey Sour were delicious. My adult niece and I made cosmos while she was visiting, complete with the sugar rimmer I bought at the liquor store. (Bartesian sells sugar rimmers, but they’re much higher priced than what I can find locally.)
Speaking of price, you’ll probably have sticker shock when you start buying capsules. The $3 per capsule price adds up quickly, and that’s in addition to the liquor you’ll need to buy separately. Bartesian also offers shipping protection for $2 per shipment, and with the capsules being so expensive, I always paid for that, just in case.
What I Love
1. Ease of Use
You can’t beat having a mixed drink at the press of a button. If you entertain, you can even set out glasses and capsules and let your guests make their own drinks. For those who regularly pour a drink to relax after a long day, having a delicious mixed beverage in less than 30 seconds is well worth it.
2. Consistency
Each capsule mixes with the alcohol and water perfectly, creating a consistent taste every time. I haven’t even found that kind of predictability at my favorite restaurant. It would be hard for me to match that level of consistency if I tried to make the same types of beverages at home.
3. Variety
You can browse Bartesian’s capsule options to see the many beverages they offer. You’ll find variety packs by liquor type, themed capsules, and low-calorie options. Bartesian also pushes out limited edition collections, including special beverages surrounding holidays like Halloween and Christmas.
4. Fun Novelty Item
To be honest, my favorite thing about the Bartesian is that it’s a conversation piece. I show it off to everyone who visits. I have very few drinkers in my family and friend groups, though, so I haven’t used it while entertaining as much as I thought I would.
What I Don’t Love
1. Malfunction
The main reason I’m considering getting rid of my Bartesian is that it simply isn’t working right anymore. After about five months, the spout malfunctioned and liquid now comes through the capsule holder. Sometimes a large chunk of the drink ends up on the counter. Other consumers have mentioned the issue and the advice is to shake the capsule before inserting it, but that only works sometimes, unfortunately.
2. Cleaning
While the Bartesian unit itself has internal self-cleaning mechanisms, keeping the rest of it clean has been a challenge. The reservoir lids leak into the holders, leaving a constant puddle. I empty it out (not easy), only for it to happen again. The spill mat is cute, but its design makes it tough to get in the nooks and crannies. Overall, though, it’s no more difficult to clean than a one-cup coffeemaker.
3. Capsule Cost and Availability
Yes, $3 a capsule (plus alcohol cost) is far cheaper than most bar drinks, but when compared to mixing your own drinks at home, it’s significantly pricier. Another downside is availability: You can’t pick up capsules in stores and Amazon has a limited selection. That means you’ll be placing most orders directly from the Bartesian site and waiting for them to ship. Typically, that only takes a few days, but it still means you’ll need to plan ahead.
4. Counter Space
No matter how big my kitchen is, there never seems to be enough counter space. The original four-reservoir unit is 12.5 inches x 12.75 inches x 13.25 inches, so be sure to measure before you buy. You don’t have to set it up in your kitchen, of course: If you regularly entertain, you might have a dedicated bar or an outdoor kitchen where it would fit perfectly. You may even be able to tuck it into a cabinet or pantry, then bring it out when you’re ready to use it.
Day-to-Day Use
I’ll be honest — I’m not the ideal candidate for the Bartesian. I’m fine with a glass of Moscato from a bottle with a screw top. My husband rarely drinks and I realized, during the holidays, that the drinkers in our family prefer a basic highball. Some cans of soda and a bottle of gin, and our guests are set.
Yes, there is a “wow” factor when it comes to this machine, and if you want to show off for houseguests, this is the appliance that will do it. You can’t beat the ease of having a yummy cocktail at the press of a button, and it’s fairly easy to use and set up.
If my Bartesian hadn’t malfunctioned after a few months, I probably would keep it and use it a few times a month at most. However, for me, the puddling in the holders, combined with the defective spout, has just made the machine too messy to be worth it.
Bartesian Cocktail Making Machine
Final Verdict: Is the Bartesian Worth It?
Chances are, you’ll get a Bartesian that won’t malfunction. If that’s the case, I can recommend it, but only you know your lifestyle. If you’ll make at least a few drinks a month and you have some extra space to store it, it’s probably worth it. For most people, I’d say the Bartesian Duet would suffice. You’ll have to change out the liquors if you need more than two, so that’s a consideration, but for small households that entertain infrequently, the two-reservoir unit will work fine.
